Parental socialization of guilt and shame in early childhood

Self-conscious emotions emerge early in human development and they help children navigate social relationships. Little is known about the socialization of self-conscious emotions in early childhood. We theorized that parental mental state language use and warmth would be important for young children’s self-conscious emotions and their consequent prosocial behaviors. Ninety-eight children residing in the Netherlands (52% girls) aged 2–5 (M = 48.66 months, SD = 13.50 months) visited the research lab with one parent. First, we observed parental mental state language and warmth. Afterward, children were led to believe that they caused a mishap (i.e., accidentally breaking the experimenter’s favorite toy) to evoke their guilt and shame, which we micro-coded. In subsequent tasks, we observed children’s helping behaviors toward the experimenter. We found that the combination of frequent parental mental state language and high warmth was associated with children’s quicker helping to the previously harmed experimenter across toddlerhood and early childhood. More guilt was related to more helping whereas more shame-like avoidance was related to less helping. Our findings based on the sample of Dutch parents and children suggest that, parental frequent mental state talk, in combination with high warmth, may promote children’s ability to repair social relationships and behave prosocially after mishaps.